This flick gets a lot of guff, the director is shit sure. And Nicolas Cage would have done anything to get in a comic movie it seems and really may have not been the best choice for this. But think about it, how easy do you think it is to make a Ghost Rider movie? It’d have to be very heavy on effects, and you don’t have a lot to work with as far as the story goes because really, most of the Ghost Rider story’s sucked. He falls into the trap that Thor does, cool character, shitty book. So for what they had to work with this movie ain’t so bad. I enjoyed it, its not the best in the world but it’s kind of fun. You’ve just got to take it for what it is.
Superman (1978): Ah the first Superman movie. There exists two cuts of this movie, the one that came out and the Richard Donner cut. I’ve always heard the Richard Donner cut was better and I just recently saw it. It is better but don’t go thinking there’s an amazing difference. There’s basically 3 added scenes that were cut out put back in the movie, no biggie. Richard Donner comes over from The Omen fame to direct this cheesy great film. A lot of people hate this movie today, say it was never good or it hasn’t aged well. Ah maybe they’re right on some counts but I like it. It is kind of cheesy but not only is Superman not an easy movie to make I suspect, this is also 1978, effects weren’t all stellar yet. People can argue that Christopher Reeve was great or terrible here, I think he did a fine job here…but people also praise Marlon Brando in this flick who I think was sub-par. The real gem of this movie no matter how you look at it is Gene Hackman filling the shoes of Lex Luthor, in quite a stellar way. We’ve basically got your run of the mill origin story here with Lex Luthor hating Superman, for oddly enough, no real reason explained. But it all works out, kryptionite is used and an evil plan is thwarted. The only thing about this flick I really hate is the ‘killing’ of Lois Lane, only to be brought back to life by Superman flying around Earth to reverse time…If you can get over that you’ve got a pretty decent superhero movie.
Superman II (1981): As with Superman you’ve got more than one cut of this movie. The main ones are the theater release and once again the Richard Donner cut because Richard was booted out of this movie for very unclear reasons, if you dig you can find the different versions of the story’s why. The big difference here between Superman and Superman II, the two different cuts of the movie are actually different. The Richard Donner cut of this one and the Richard Lester (new director) cut have about a 20 minute time difference and there are key plot points that are slightly different. Its certainly the same movie, just flows very differently. I must say I think I like the Donner cut a little better once again but either copy is still good. We’ve got Christopher Reeve back as Superman and Margot Kidder back as Lois Lane and the great Gene Hackman doing Lex Luthor again. This time however we’ve got the three villains from Krypton doing the main bad guy damage. Remember the Krypton criminals from the start of the first movie? Yeah those guys finally pay off. This also gives us the brilliant “KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!” line, that rates up there with Star Trek’s “KKKKKAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNN!!”. This movie however as great as it is, has more things in it that I hate than the first one had. We’ve got Kryptionan powers that never existed, such as telekinesis apparently, Superman can now make some sort of dumb-ass plastic net thing out of his S and has this amazing power to create amnesia when he kisses Lois Lane. Also Lois finds out that Clark is Superman and not only do they end up hooking it up but Superman gives up his powers then mysteriously gets them back. Seems like I hate this movie, I know. But its still great even will all its flaws. You’ve got a big super powered fight at the end, and that really makes up for everything.
Superman III (1983): Ah Superman III, the one everybody loves to hate. (This is of course, because everybody forgets they even made a part IV). Richard Lester jumped back in the director’s chair and we have most of the rest of the cast back, Christopher Reeve and Margot Kidder in their title roles. We’ve also got Richard Pryor in for this one, which people either love or hate. Oddly enough most people remember this movie as either terrible, or as to the main plot for Office Space (stealing the fractions of cents from the company’s payroll). Lex is missed but he wasn’t in every Superman comic either, now was he? This despite all the hate it gets is actually my favorite of the series. Superman’s just a jerk-hole and it’s amazing. The villain here, we’ll just call him the bootleg Lex because that’s what he is, hires Richard Pryor to mess up the weather because hes a super villain and all, Superman stops this so they start to target him. How do you hurt Superman? Kryptonite. But they don’t have any, so they make some. Problem being 0.57% is unknown so it’s just made up as Tar. This makes the Kryptonite act more like the red kind and causes Superman to not care and turns him into a super jerk, and this is amazing. About 3/4 of the way through the film we get to my favorite part, where Superman gets all drunk, if you can’t enjoy this you have no soul. Well as this movie progresses it does get pretty stupid, Superman fights Clark Kent?? The whole sequence makes little to no sense, either way its been one of my favorite ever sense the first time I saw it when I was a kid. But really when it comes down to it it may be the dumbest thing in the movie so there’s that love/hate relation I have with that scene. I guess the point here being is this is by no means a perfect movie, or even a great one but at the same time it is an awesome one.
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987): Now this is the worst movie by far of the Superman series. This is the “Batman & Robin” of Superman if you will, big difference being, Superman IV is worse than Batman & Robin. B&R at least had I donno, maybe 5 minutes of entertainment, where’s this does not. Problem one, written by Christopher Reeve, I got no beef with the guy as an actor but apparently he’s not a writer. Problem two, director Sidney J. Furie, this man has not directed anything worth a damn in his life. Problem three, which I guess can be tied to problem one, the plot – Superman gets a hard-on for world peace. This plot is stupid to say the least, just some hippy propaganda in an attempt to brainwash us into thinking the same. On the plus of this atrocity we’ve at least got some familiar faces back. Of course Christopher Reeve is the alien in the blue suit. Jackie Cooper is back as Perry White, Margot Kidder as Lois Lane and thankfully we’ve got Lex Luthor back played once again by the brilliant Gene Hackman. This movie is so bad it’s almost a parody of a Superman movie. It’s corny and cheesy both in very bad ways. I really don’t think there’s one good thing I can say about this except Gene Hackman being back. Basically I’d say avoid this movie if you can. Its not even really a fun watch, its just bad. Its probably in the bottom 10 comic movies ever made (it may have taken the worst spot if it weren’t for the cycle of crap that was unleashed on the world in the 2000′s).
Superman Returns (2006): A new Superman movie? Come on Bryan Singer don’t fuck this up. You can make a good movie, you did The Usual Suspects, but on the other hand you fucked up X-Men. Well this time it looks like Bryan went middle of the road and made a pretty decent movie. There are things I like and hate about this flick. It was pretty good, and slightly cheesy which I liked because the originals were pretty cheesy. It takes place after part two so its like number three never happened which is pretty fucking stupid, part three rules. But at least its not another remake I guess. Brandon Routh did a pretty Superman, Kate Bosworth did a meh Lois Lane. Speaking of Lois, she had a baby, apparently from Superman, what the fuck is this shit? This almost ruined the movie for me. Lois doesn’t have a kid, and a stupid kid that doesn’t exist with super powers? Fuck this shit, goddammit Bryan what are you doing? For all its faults (fucking baby) this movie does have one stellar shinning ray of awesome hope, the great (my personal favorite actor), Kevin Spacey stealing the movie as Lex Luthor. He’s so good he even puts Gene Hackman’s Lex to shame. The story here is a little odd, Lex finds out that he can make land so he goes and makes an island because, land is money and power. A little wacky but a decent villain scheme. The flick turned out pretty well, I was happy, I look forward to the sequel, hopefully they leave the baby out of the next one.
Get the Superman Ultimate Collector’s Edition (Superman – The Movie/ Superman II/ Superman II – The Richard Donner Cut/ Superman III/ Superman IV – The Quest for Peace/ Superman Returns) from Amazon HERE
Filed under: Comic Book, Movies/Shows, Reviews | Tagged: Batman & Robin, Brandon Routh, Bryan Singer, cheesy, Christopher Reeve, Clark Kent, comic, flick, Gene Hackman, Jackie Cooper, Kate Bosworth, Kevin Spacey, kryptionite, Krypton, Lex Luthor, Lois Lane, Margot Kidder, Marlon Brando, movie, Perry White, Richard Donner, Richard Lester, Richard Pryor, superhero, Superman, Superman Returns, uncle critic, X-Men, ZOD | Leave a Comment »
Now here we go, a fucking Cronenberg flick. You can’t go wrong there. Add in Viggo Mortensen, Ed Harris and some mob ties and you’ve got a sweet movie. Basically this guy Tom, lives in this little town. Some guys come in and try to start some stuff with him so he ends up shooting them in a scuffle which makes his former mob buddies aware that hes living there. They come out there to get him, Tom denies he’s Joey (his former name) or knows them. Ends up hes gotta go in and take out some people. This movie is definitely worth your time.
In the early 1990s pop-punk was king, ok well maybe not king but it was definitely their hay-day. You had Screeching Weasel, The Queers and (my personal favorite) The Mr. T Experience all going strong and being awesome. It’s now the 2000′s. Screeching Weasel is gone, Ben Weasel is still doing stuff but I wouldn’t exactly say its steady business. The Queers had a long off season but they’re not doing too bad themselves (despite the fact that there’s been more members than I can count, luckily Joe Queer is dedicated. And MTX isn’t broken up but they haven’t released an album in five years (and it was another five for the one before that), and they aren’t exactly touring machines now a days. However now that the pop-punk bands of old have become the foundation of greatness instead of the guys still trying to make it out there, there is now a new wave of pop-punk. This time hailing from the East Coast (mostly NY/NJ) instead of the West Coast. We’ve got bands around like The Unlovables, The Copyrights, The Ergs! and the Steinways. Personally I’m a huge fan of this new wave, I can’t get enough good pop-punk, I’m just a sucker for it and I was starting to get pretty bummed when it looked like it was dieing out, and now we’ve got this great resurgence. Which I guess would bring us to this album, “Gorilla Marketing”, not only is this their seventh release (including live CD, 7″s and splits), its also their best. I could tell this album was going to be great right off the bat, I really enjoyed all of the other Steinways stuff but this, this has a GORILLA on the cover!, Granted “Missed the Boat” had a hamburger viking, so it’s a close call for which one is better. The album itself is complete gold. Before this came out to me the Steinways were pretty damn good, after I listened to this album they were immediately my second favorite new-wave-pop-punk band (right behind The Ergs!). I had a whole new appreciation for this band, and after The Ergs! called it quits I figured the Steinways would be the ones that would have to carry the flag of new pop-punk, they were the only ones up to the challenge…..unfortunately the Steinways also broke up so the flag is kind of floating around between a few bands trying to get a grip right now…This album is full of some potential pop punk classics, “Oh My Fucking Gosh” is one of my favorite songs on the album, its catchy and bout girls, everything pop punk needs. “Fuckmarket Pharmacy” is also a classic jam just about being bored, lazy, unproductive and possibly skipping work. “Oh Angela” is also a great tune, and also has a parody line from an Unlovables song with ‘Feeling all emo sense I ran out of weed’. “Attaching Transmittals To Erection Drawings” this might be my favorite all around song on the album, just about being a lazy teenager, or lazy and having no job in general, this gets stuck in my head constantly. “Manhattan Boots” is quality and has possibly my favorite line on the album (that or CGI which I’ll hit in a second. It just rings so true with me personally. “As all the asian girls walk by me straight into my mind”. Finally the last song I’ll single out here is “CGI” because it also has a contender for line of the album with “Let me kiss you in the corner, My mom’s out of town teacher friend’s daughter, Oh I know that in a couple of years your sister’s gonna be hotter”. All in all this is a great album. One which I think became a pop punk essential to own the day it came out. In fact its so damn good I personally own this gem on CD and record. About the only complaint I could come up for this fetching piece of vinyl (or plastic) is that it may be just too damn catchy. Parts of these songs get stuck in my head on a daily basis almost walking that fine line between blissful and bothersome. Well I guess that’s all I got for now, if you like pop punk, go buy this, right now.
1. Arena Rock
2. Missed The Boat
3. Oh My Fucking Gosh
4. Fuckmarket Pharmacy
5. Oh, Angela
6. Attaching Transmittals To Erection Drawings
7. Half Baked Heartache
8. Manhattan Boots
9. The 400th Blows
10. Good Morning Sunshine
11. It’s My Hair
12. Senior Prom Jr.
13. Good Grief
14. (Nobody Wants To) Make Out (With Me(Because I Wear Sweatpants))
16. The Internal Cowboy
Filed under: Music, Pop Punk, Punk, Reviews | Tagged: awesome, band, Ben Weasel, Copyrights, Ergs, Gorilla, Gorilla Marketing, Joe Queer, Missed the Boat, Mr. T Experience, MTX, pop punk, poppunk, punk, records, Screeching Weasel, Steinways, The Queers, uncle critic, Unlovables | Leave a Comment »
This movie was a made for TV flick as I recall. Even, I was like 14 and hated the Gen X comics but I loved comic books so I made a point to give it a chance. This is possibly the worst comic movie ever made. That might be a little harsh, but if it’s not the worst it’s got to be in the bottom 5. Avoid this movie at all costs. If someone tries to make you watch it, kick them in the balls and run.