Imagine you’re browsing through the CD store, you see a CD with a pretty fucking cool album cover, you go in for a closer look, the name is HAMMERLORD. This is already looking promising, you flip it over, the back cover is even more amazing than the front cover. You flip it back over and a sticker reads “THE NEW LOARDS OF THRASH METAL!!” What do you do? If it’s $9 I think you have to buy it. Granted I normally don’t let stupid stickers reel me in like that but you’ve got to take a chance sometime, and recently my chances have payed off. Only difference is they’re normally at my local record store where the guy running it has good taste, and this was Record and Tape Traders. So did you get burned if you bought this CD? Let me just start out here by saying I think the sticker was marked wrong. It shouldn’t have read “THE NEW LORDS OF THRASH METAL!!” it should been something more along the lines of “THE NEW LORDS OF SHIT METAL!!” This CD is like having diarrhea shoveled into your ear. Half of these songs sound the same, the other half are worse. The vocals sound like Comeback Kid (granted they’re not bad, but they’re not thrash), the music is somewhere mixed up in nu metal, thrash and hardcore, what I like to call a cocktail of shittyness. This has nine tracks on it, luckily we didn’t get into the double digits because not one of them is worth listening to. In fact I’ll admit I haven’t even gotten all the way through more than two songs, I’ve tried, goddamnit how I’ve tried, but it’s just that bad. Take my advice here, it may have a sweet ass cover but save your money for something more enjoyable, like a trip to the dentist.
June 17, 2009