Hulk Hogan tried his hand at making an album, did Randy Savage and then most recently John Cena. None of them are great, but all of them are great (yes I meant to say that that way). Here’s a look at all three of the albums in order of release, who is champion? You decide! (or I will, it’s Hulk Hogan).
Hulk Hogan & the Wrestling Boot Band: Hulk Rules
Wrestling fan or not everyone knows Hulk Hogan. He’s the Red and Yellow machine that brought Hulkamaina to the world and had wrestling flying high all through the 80’s. What the world may not know is that in 1995 Select Records put out Hulk Hogan & the Wrestling Boot Band’s debut (and only) album. A band featuring not only the Hulkster himself but also included “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart, Hogan’s wife at the time, Linda and John Maguire. Trust me when I say this isn’t an album you’ll simply want the mp3’s for because the DVD includes some ridiculous pictures of Hogan and the band posing down. You ready for twenty-nine minutes and thirty-five seconds of the best thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life?
‘Hulkster’s In The House’ The opening line of “The Hulkster’s in the house, check em out check em out” starts out this brilliant album. Somewhat of ‘gang vocals’ is what we get for most of this cheesy masterpiece, there’s a little bit of Hogan singing here but they knew they couldn’t just let that fly with the first song, you’ve gotta be warmed up.
‘American Made’ If you watched WCW in 1995 you know this song by heart, it was Hogan’s theme before he turn coated the world and started waving the colors of the NWO.
‘Hulkster’s Back’ ah shit, this funky song starts out with a ‘Baby got back’ attempted intro. But that’s not what you need to know about this, what you have to know is we’ve got Hulk Hogan rapping through this song! Fucking brilliant stuff! “I took the belt, it was Flair’s, I don’t really care”
‘Wrestling Boot Traveling Band’ This has got to be Jimmy Hart’s song. He sings it, it kind of reminds me of an Eagles song, it’s almost actually good, almost. (If you don’t know Jimmy Hart was in the band The Gentrys before he started wrestling, they had the hit “Keep on Dancing” as their claim to fame)
‘Bad to the Bone’ We’ve got a rockin’ hit here, you know because it starts out with the sound of a motorcycle followed up by a shreddin guitar solo. More Jimmy Hart vocals here folks!
‘I Want to Be a Hulkamaniac’ Something of a Disney channel type sing along here. You practically expecting a bouncing ball at the bottom with lyrics. But we do get more Hulk Hogan rapping on this one!
‘Beach Patrol’ More record scratching, into what sounds like an old mid-carder’s WWF theme. The Hulkster reminds us again that he’s the greatest rapper to ever live. This might be the hit of the album!
‘Hulk’s The One’ An 80’s ballad…in ’95? No idea who’s singing this one, Linda I think would have to be my guess, or a hidden secret member.
‘Hulkster in Heaven’ Another ballad, I feel like an asshole for laughing at this because obviously it should be a serious song but how can you not with lines like “I use to tear my shirt but now you tore my heart”, all that aside though it seem like Hogan (or whoever wrote it for him) put something into it.
‘Hulk Rules’ Close it out with another rockin song. “If you mess with the Hulkster he’ll rearrange your teeth”. I just wish Hogan or Hart sang this song, it’d be way more badass.
1. Hulkster’s In The House
2. American Made
3. Hulkster’s Back
4. Wrestling Boot Traveling Band
5. Bad to the Bone
6. I Want to Be a Hulkamaniac
7. Beach Patrol
8. Hulk’s The One
9. Hulkster in Heaven
10. Hulk Rules
‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage: Be a Man
In 1995 Hulk put out his rap/rock album, Hulk Rules, with the Wrestling Boot Band. Fast forward to 2003 and in true Macho Man fashion Randy Savage tries to prove that anything Hogan can do, Savage can do better. Big 3 Records brings this gem to us, and much like Hogan, Savage has backup on the album in the form of rap group, The Rascalz, who are ironically the legit worst part of the album. I wish it had just been Randy Savage rapping here. And as expected it’s just as amazing as Hogan’s album. Clocking at forty-five minutes, fifty-five seconds, but it still won’t be enough, you want more!!
‘Intro’ Just an intro track hyping the album, for some reason on the album. Mostly short news samples and interview clips. Not even a minute long.
‘I’m back’ FINALLY we get Savage rapping, and it is brilliant! This song establishes that Macho Man is in fact, back.
‘Ru Ready’ The question everyone wants to know, Are You Ready? This is basically a really bad hardcore rap song, bad due in no part to Randy Savage, he brings the great parts to this song.
‘Hit The Floor’ God the beats on this album are so bad, as is everyone whose name isn’t Macho Man Randy Savage, it really hits you in this one.
‘Let’s Get It On’ One of the best songs on the album, Macho just tells you how he’s gonna kick your ass.
‘Remember Me’ Another one of the top songs on the album, Macho makes sure you know he’s still around and still tough!
‘Tear It Up’ In the words of Savage himself “A little hip hop mixed with a little rock n roll”
‘Macho Thang’ Macho Man is a fucking pimp, this is the story of Randy Savage’s sleazy night.
‘Be a Man’ THE best song on the album, maybe ever. Savage actually has some great dis lines on Hogan here. “you’ve been runnin’ from Macho like I got a disease” It’s just one giant Hogan dis track, fucking brilliant! “I smell a coward mmmm is that you Hogan”
‘Get Back’ The Macho Man’s so mad he’s about to explode!
‘Feel The madness’ This song is just fucking weird, I’m not really sure what’s going on. Everybody’s telling you to ‘feel the madness’ but Savage sounds like he’s sure about what he’s talking about, so I guess that’s all that matters.
‘What’s That All About’ Seems like Savage is rappin a love song here. Gotta memorize this one and use it on the ladies.
‘Gonna Be Trouble’ Man sounds like someone challenged Macho Man because he’s ready to hand out an ass kicking here. “By the time I’m done with you you’re layin on the floor”
‘Perfect friend’ ugh I do feel bad when I laugh at this song. A tribute to one of the greatest (the greatest?) wrestler to ever live, Curt Hennig aka Mr. Perfect. Nice thought from Randy, but really, it’s still a really bad song.
2. I’m back
3. Ru Ready
4. Hit The Floor
5. Let’s Get It On
6. Remember Me
7. Tear It Up
8. Macho Thang
9. Be a Man
10. Get Back
11. Feel The madness
12. What’s That All About
13. Gonna Be Trouble
14. Perfect friend
John Cena: You Can’t See Me
Hulk Hogan did it, Macho Man Randy Savage did it, and now John Cena is doing it. Of course I’m taking about making a rap album. The difference here, besides quality and amazingness is John Cena’s gimmick is from the hip-hop world so this took the world by much less surprise. Another key difference is the help Cena employed. Hulk Hogan had Jimmy Hart who is actually a veteran of the music industry and Randy Savage had that awful rap group who I’m not even going to bother to look up. But Vince Machmann tried not to make his golden boy’s album a flip so some real pros were called in. Appearances are made by Tha Trademarc (Cena’s cousin), Esoteric (who I also heard did the beats) and Bumpy Knuckles (aka Freddie Foxxx), who is great in his own right. With this star-studded cast I found myself actually getting excited that this album may be good. Well I was mostly wrong. Aside from a few standout tracks this album is bad. Not the good bad like Macho Man’s just really bad. And the worst part of the album I think is the beats, so dull, shockingly Cena actually isn’t too bad, not bad at all actually. I was actually kind of double disappointed, firstly that it wasn’t like really bad fun like the Macho Man and Hogan album. And secondly because there’s so much just bad stuff on here. There is good news however, the couple of songs that are actually good on here, are surprisingly really good, so if you can find it cheap and you’re a fan, you might think about picking it up.
‘The Time Is Now’ The intro to the album is John Cena’s wrestling entrance theme, this also happens to be the best song on the album, at least beat wise, so it’s all down hill from here folks.
‘Don’t Fuck With us’ Ugh, the beat for this song is unbearably annoying, fuck.
‘Flow Easy’ Once again not feeling the beat here but Bumpy Knuckles and (suprising) Cena are on point.
‘Right Now’ Sounds like the beat was made out of the song from Aladdin during the carpet ride date, and that’s not a good thing. A pretty posi song by Cena though.
‘Make It Loud’ A Cena sample from him in the ring starts out this, it’s almost surreal. Unfortunately this whole song is just terrible. Their attempt at a club song.
‘Just Another Day’ This song’s pretty good, reminds me of something Atmosphere might do. Second best song on the album, maybe the best lyrically.
‘Summer Flings’ Ugh another not good song, Cena trying to be too thug here.
‘Keep Frontin” Another good song! Shit, the worst part about this is Bumpy Knuckles kind of out classes Cena.
‘We Didn’t Want You to Know’ This beat I actually like, it sort of reminds me of a horror movie, too bad Cena brings the weak part here. It’s like a flip of most of the bad songs.
‘Bad, Bad Man’ Cena and Bumpy back at it, doing the thug thing again, it somewhat works this time. This is a pretty fun song.
‘Running Game’ Another song that isn’t half bad here, I kinda dig this one.
‘Beantown’ Esoteric makes his appearance on the album here, another pretty good song.
‘This Is How We Roll’ This is terrible, sounds like another attempt at a club song.
‘What Now’ Another odd song where I’m not feelin it but I like the beat, Cena actually isn’t bad either, something just doesn’t work here. It’s not so bad, there’s much worse on here.
‘Know The Rep’ The final track with Bumpy Knuckles on it, he brings it hard to this track. Cena does a pretty good job trying to keep up the pace with him.
‘Chain Gang Is the Click’ Another hard sounding track, this one is alright, comes off as a little hokey but not totally.
‘If It All Ended Tomorrow’ I guess it’s no surprise that the album closes out with another pretty bad song. Bummer.
1. The Time Is Now
2. Don’t Fuck With us
3. Flow Easy (feat. Bumpy Knuckles)
4. Right now
5. Make It Loud
6. Just Another Day
7. Summer Flings
8. Keep Frontin’ (feat. Bumpy Knuckles)
9. We Didn’t Want You to Know
10. Bad, Bad Man (feat. Bumpy Knuckles)
11. Running Game
12. Beantown (feat. Esoteric)
13. This Is How We Roll
14. What Now
15. Know The Rep (feat. Bumpy Knuckles)
16. Chain Gang Is the Click
17. If It All Ended Tomorrow