REVIEW: Stoker

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StokerStoker is the new movie from director Chan-wook Park, the man that brought us Oldboy, Lady Vengeance and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance. As the three main characters we’ve got Mia Wasikowska as the main characters the young daughter India Stoker, Nicole Kidman is her mom Evelyn Stoker and Matthew Goode is the Uncle Charles. India’s father dies and Uncle Charles appears from pretty much nowhere and that is pretty much the setting for the movie. The whole time something seems off but you can’t quite figure out what it is. Between India having a very Lydia from Beetlejuice personality and Charles having a Norman Bates vibe going on you’re not quite sure where the source of this uneasiness is coming from. It’s later revealed eventually (I won’t spoil it) but that doesn’t really help to settle things, you just get a whole new set of problems. The movie goes very slowly, I wouldn’t say it’s greatly done but I didn’t mind it too much and there are a few Hitchcock elements sew-in. One thing I’ve heard people complain about is that the movie just seems to be hyper stylized, I do see what these people mean but I don’t really agree, a few shots you get that feeling from but it’s nothing close to the whole movie being that way, there are also some scenes that given a different soundtrack could seem like something Wes Anderson would film. Overall though I really enjoyed this movie, it was a type of movie that I haven’t seen for a good while and Chan-wook Park pulled the whole thing off pretty well. People that like slow burn mystery thrillers will probably dig this, but again I remind you if you don’t like slow movies watch out because that’s what you’re in for here.

Get Stoker from Amazon HERE

REVIEW: Holy Batmania!

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batman43Batman (1943, serial):
This was a collection of serial shorts made in ’43. They’re definitely dated but a lot of fun, especially if your a Batman fan. Some of the stuff is really ridiculous, but much less then the campy series with Adam West. These serials seem a lot like serial versions of the comics from that time period, pretty wacky but fun. I’d recommend these for a Batman fan but probably not the casual fan.

batman66Batman (1966):
Adam West (Batman), Burt Ward (Robin), Lee Meriwether (Catwoman), Cesar Romero (The Joker), Burgess Meredith (The Penguin), Frank Gorshin (The Riddler)…With this cast it can only be the campy Batman series from the 60’s. But this is so much more because this is the movie version of that gem. The villains team up to destroy all the worlds leaders from a peace summit. And on top of this Batman and Robin have to fight a fucking exploding shark! Luckly Batman has his handy Shark Repellent Batspray. I highly recommend this for anyone that liked the old Batman series or anyone that likes fun.

batman89Batman (1989):
Now this is one of my favorite comic movies ever made, and still my favorite Batman movie ever made. It’s got Michael Keaton and Tim Burton on top of their game, and the always great Jack Nicolson in an amazing job as the Joker. There’s the telling of both origin stories (a little inconsistency in both stories but close enough) then goes into one of the Joker’s crazy plots, to basically be the Joker and do what he does – be crazy. This also has one of my favorite movie quotes “Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?” – that has nothing to do with the actual review, it just rules. Some people bitch about Jack just playing ‘himself’ or the movie not being violent enough. But you know what? Fuck them. There’s a reason Jack Nicholson was chosen to play the Joker and it still stands as the best choice ever, and as for the violence even the great Tim Burton (who wasn’t mr. bigwig back then) had to adhere to standards and practices of big budget movies of the late 80’s. (Late 80’s being the key because they got anal about the rough stuff for a while there which is when this was made). But you’ve got to work with what you can and this turned out quite excellent. I highly recommend this for everyone especially comic and Batman fans.

returnsBatman Returns:
The Penguin gets screwed by the mayor and vows revenge, meanwhile else were in Gotham a secretary knows too much and is thrown out a window. Once again Tim Burton is back directing, Michael Keaton is still Batman, but we’ve added some awesomeness to the cast. Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman back when she was still sexy, the great Danny DeVito as Penguin and there’s even some of everyone’s favorite strange/creepy/great guy Christopher Walken as the mayor in this one. While not a bad movie, it does have it moments overall I didn’t really enjoy it. I remember I was even disappointed as a kid when I saw this. I’m not sure why, caught somewhere between rushed/forced and possibly half-hearted its not even close to the worst Batman movie made, its certainly not one of the best. There is however a massive penguin army which gets this movie some awesome points.

foreverBatman Forever:
This movie I have almost a love/hate relationship with. Basically what we’ve got here is more origin stories which seem to be the norm with this series of movies. Once again the origins aren’t spot on but good enough that I can overlook that for now. Two-Face ice’s Tim Drake’s parents, which causes Tim Drake to become Robin. Meanwhile Bruce Wayne fires Edward Nygma which leads him to become the Riddler in a revenge plot. During this plot Riddler finds out Batman’s identity. Gone is Tim Burton and the new guy in is (ugh) Joel Schumacher, this could be a big part of the problem. Also out is Michael Keaton, instead we get the bootleg version Val Kilmer, he did an ok job but he’s no Michael Keaton. In pulling sidekick duty is this Chris O’Donnell jerk, whom I hate to this day because of his poor job in this role. There’s even Nicole Kidman and Drew Barrymore throw in for some eye candy. However the only real redeeming part of this movie is the villains. This time around we’ve got my second favorite Batman villain, Two-Face, played by one of my favorite actors, Tommy Lee Jones. This was stellar. I know a lot of people hated how this was done but I thought it was great. Granted it was a way over the top, super charged version of Two-Face, but it was fun, he killed some people and it was fucking Tommy Lee Jones. One of my favorite Jones roles (most people’s least favorite). Second on the map is the Riddler played by Jim Carrey who was bigger than comedy Jesus at this point in time. Once again this is a over the top version of said character, but then again it is Jim Carrey. I though it fit pretty well, not the best Riddler known to man but it was a quality performance. So basically if they could somehow cut all the fat in this movie and just have Two-Face and Riddler owning Gotham, this movie would rule, as it stands…its ok.

batmanandrobinBatman & Robin:
Ok here’s the stinker movie of this series and basically what killed the Batman franchise for 10 years (give or take). Not that this movie is without its moments but its really just not good. I tried to defend it for years but I’ve finally come to terms with its shittyness. The story is pretty generic and still doesn’t make a lot of sense. You’ve got Poison Ivy (Played by Uma Thurman somehow looking not sexy), who’s basically being a pissy crazy woman all about the plants. We’ve got Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) being pissed off about being Mr. Freeze. There’s even Bane in here for about 10 seconds…Yeah sounds pretty shitty doesn’t it? But wait, there’s more! We’ve got a new Batman once again, George Clooney trying to climb up the ladder to get someone to notice him as Mr. Wayne. Once again not a bad job by him, but not that great either. He played a much better Bruce Wayne than a Batman but the movie’s not called ‘Bruce Wayne & Robin’. That dick stain Chris O’Donnell is crapping up the role of Robin again. However there is a bit of light here we’re introduced to Batgirl is this movie brought to us by Alicia Silverstone. Not a stellar performance, but it was good and she looks good in a skintight Batgirl suit. No surprised on this sorry excuse for a comic movie There’s Joel Schumacher at the wheel directing this train wreck again, that explains a lot. I think this movie pretty much proves that a movie can’t get by on just a few big names, there’s got to be a decent movie to start with. Oh and as I recall there’s some sort of sky surfing scene in here somewhere too…

batmanbeginsBatman Begins:
Eight years after ‘Batman & Robin’ Christopher Nolan comes out of almost nowhere with a reboot of the Batman films breathing life into them again. It’s not too much of a surprise seeing as how so far all of his movies have been pretty awesome, but a Batman movie was pretty unexpected. Reboot of the series however means another retelling of the origin story, which leads to one of my only gripes with the movie. Although cool, I had no idea what was going on the first 10 minutes of the movie. I walk into a Batman movie and I see mud-wrestling, luckily it all worked out. Everyone’s favorite American Psycho, Christian Bale is in the batsuit this time. Unforchinatly not wielding a chainsaw and talking about music. Bale does a damn good job in this movie, good choice here. We’ve also got the awesome Michael Caine as Alfred, and the also awesome Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox a Wayne employee who basically becomes Batman’s gadget dealer. Villains come in as Ra’s Al Ghul in a couple forms and Cillian Murphy appearing as the Sandman. Excellent movie to kick off the new Batman series, definitely in the top group as far as Bat flicks go.

darkknightDark Knight:
Christopher Nolan is back with a sequel, and one hell of a sequel. I’ve got a little resentment towards this movie but I still like it a lot. So far this is my second favorite Batman flick to date. There’s kind of a lot going on here. You’ve got the Joker introcuded played by Heath Ledger (I’ll come back to this), being the Joker, just fucking crazy. Meanwhile you’ve got Harvey Dent (played excellently by Aaron Eckhart) trying to clean up Gotham until his woman gets killed and he gets charged, then Two-Face comes out (with goddamn fucking awesome stellar effects). Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman are all back doing bang up jobs in their previous roles. (with the exception of Batman’s ridiculously low voice, this was literally laughable) We even get a cameo of Cillian Murphy back as the Scarecrow for a minute (or less). Now my big beef with this movie isn’t even with the movie, this is totally an editorial rant. Heath Ledger. The man was a good Joker (no Jack Nicholson, but who is) But most of the popularity of this movie came from Ledger committing suicide before the flick came out. Not only that it got a bunch of bandwagon fans jumping on and every goth kid within a two billion mile radius suddenly thinking he’s Heath Ledger’s Joker. This was not the comic Joker in the movie, the performance was good but the makeup was god awful, had nothing to do with the Joker really, just made him look like a jack-off. So because he OD’d you’ve suddenly got everyone who wouldn’t give a fuck about the movie before suddenly loving it, everyone praising his performance as the best thing ever, and a bunch of jerk-offs dressing up like this poor excuse for a Joker. I’m done here before I anger more, go see the movie but chill the fuck out.

Get Batman – The Complete 1943 Movie Serial Collection from Amazon HERE

Get Batman: The Motion Picture Anthology, 1989-1997 (Batman / Batman Returns / Batman Forever / Batman & Robin) from Amazon HERE

Get Batman Begins from Amazon HERE

Get The Dark Knight from Amazon HERE

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