Jack Brooks, plumber, fights monsters. I know, sounds like Super Mario Brothers right? Well kind of. Basically Jack was your normal ass kid, well as normal as a kid that goes camping and dancing with his family can be, until one day on one of these dancing camping trips A MONSTER FUCKING ATE HIS FAMILY! Jack ran like a little bitch and that kind of fucked him up in the head. Fast forward to I guess president day and Jack is a man with a girl and a job and some severe anger issues. He’s seeing a doctor to try to fix those issues while taking some sort of collage night class, taught by none other than Robert Englund. Once I saw this movie I realized that now a days Robert Englund will do anything to pay the rent, but fuck it, take the money and run. Robert is the teacher of this class who goes home one day and though some weird circumstances finds a heart buried in his back yard, eats the heart and turns into a jabba the hutt like demon. Jack steps up to the plate to slay this monster and by the end of this ordeal discovers he likes doing this type of thing. So what does he do? What any idiot would, he drops the hot new woman he found during this monster fight and moves to a remote village to fight monsters and live in a hut. If this movie sounds pretty stupid, that’s because it is. It’s not even close to the worst thing I’ve ever seen, not even the worst thing I’ve seen this year but it’s far from the best either. Best thing I can say about this one is it would make some great background noise/movie viewing during a drunken get together.
Posted on May 30, 2009 by Uncle Critic